It was for the best..?

Since the day that you've been gone, nothing has been the same. Everything i do, somehow, it reminds me of you. Every time i check my phone, i wish that it was you. I wonder if you're doing okay, are you taking care of yourself?I wanna know if you miss me as much as i miss you. Some times i wish i could turn back in time and go back to way we used to be, But i gave it some time and i finally realized that i just couldn't go on this way. We fought most of the time, you made me an option, when i made you my priority. i was constantly unhappy everyday. I reached my ending point. So i told you that it was time to move on, i picked up the broken pieces and tried to be strong. I was tired of the lies, the misunderstandings, and the broken promises. I hope what i did was for the best, letting go isn't as easy as i thought it would be. Now that you're not here, i keep myself busy in order to stop thinking about you. i guess you weren't really worth it, if i decided to let go of you. i thought that you were the one that could actually make me feel like i'm important, like i'm actually worth something, but i guess i was wrong. I don't wanna say that you're a bad person, because you're not. You showed me that you cared and you actually thought me how to look at life in a different way. I guess now i have to live a life without you in it. It hurts to not have you here anymore,but too late for apologies. i just want to look back at this and know that i did the wrong things for the right reasons. That i let go of someone wonderful, but gained someone amazing.

i hate snoww!

let me tell you something... I HATE SNOW!! i hate it! i hate it! i HATE it! it only makes everything worse! i hate going outside in the morning because is soo damn cold! and i hate being stuck at home because i'm still sick! and since it's cold outside i can't go out! ughhhh! but other then that.. school was pretty good today. it was pretty relaxed except for a few misunderstandings, but nothing i can't handle. i hope winter break comes really fast. i'm ready for christmas! and new years! hmmm! lots of fun stuff! :D

well buh-bye for now.<3

SICKKK! >.<

Today, I am SICK! ughh! i hate being sick! but missing school is the fun part! haha. but I want to go to the dance showcase! so i can go and support my cousin and my other friends. This is why being sick sucks! you missed out on pretty much everything that goes on with your friends. i wish i can get better so i can go. i don't want to disappoint anyone. ughh! well off to bed! i'll write some more later! buh-bye! (:

Contradicting

Today i contradicted everything i said. I told myself that i couldn't take it anymore, and look where i am now.I guess You could say that I'm back to where I started. I guess I never seem to learn from my mistakes. I always tell myself not to do something, and later on I end up doing it all over again. Sometimes i wish i could just stop, this only leads to disappointing the people i appreciate the most, and most of all i end up hurting myself by giving up when i know i can do better. I told myself that i wouldn't let anyone influence me anymore, but now i think I've let people choose for me and tell what's bad and what's the best for me, and at the end..of course.. i end up regretting it all. I really hope this year of High School ends up fast, so i can start a new life. A new life with new people, new goals, and accomplishments. I need to start fresh again. Set new standards and not only please the people around me, but please myself also.

New Blog! finally!

So i know i haven't been here in a loooong time, but it's just that i don't know what to really write
on here! it's hard for me to find the right words that actually describe how i'm feeling. So many things have happened.. good and bad and honestly i don't even know where to begin! So i
decided to turn this into a JOURNAL aka. Diary! here i'll tell you how my days go. So feel free
to stalk all you want! haha. Well let's get started shall we? ;]


NOVEMBER 29th, 2009
-Today you could say that i finally opened my eyes. I realized that I've been getting less then what i actually deserve, that no matter how much I make you my priority, to you I'm just an option. I guess today i finally reached my ending point. I'm tired of always getting my hopes up and being screwed over at the end. i guess i should have known better, and i guess i was foolish for believing in everything you said. i shouldn't had given second chances when i knew it was going to end up like this. Nothing is like it used to be, and i admit that i wish things were back to the way they were, but if you're not willing, then there's no hope. The lies, the waiting, the broken promises, and more.. are the reasons why today I'm letting go. I am aware that letting go is not easy, it will hurt and that it will take time to actually let go of everything we've been through, but i rather go through all this, than lying to myself saying everything will be okay when i know it wont. I remember that once you promised me that if i ever fall for you..that you were going to catch me. Well I've fallen and I've fallen head over heels for you, but all I've gotten from you are excuses and apologies for not not being there. I'm tired of you saying the right things at the wrong time. I'm fed up with everything that has to do with you. i want to forget the day i even met you. I am seriously done this time. So this is my good-bye. I wish you the best, that's all i can do for you.

People now a days..

Today in class i witnessed one of the most horrible things you could probably do to a person.
People do the most horrible things without even thinking of the consequences.
We judge too quickly and assume the worst of any one we see.
I honestly thing that people need to stop looking at the outside and start focusing on
what's on the inside, everyone is different, and just because they don't belong to
your social group doesn't mean that they're any less of a person then you are.
There are some amazing people out there, but we assume the worst because of the
way they look or the way they dress.
We judge people all the time like it wasn't such a big deal, but when someone says something
about us, we act like if it was the end of the world.
Like it or not, but we're all a bunch of hypocrates.
I must admit that I've judged people and I've been judged before, but i've come to realize
that people aren't here to meet my expectations and neither am i.
We are who we are and it should be our choice if we want to change or not.
I don't think that just because you heard something you didn't want to hear, you should change
the way that you are or the way that you dress.
it's like they say.."don't do onto others what you don't wish others do to you."

WOAHHH!

Sooo I haven't been on in like so longg! haha :]
I've been really busy lately!..with summer school! ughh!
this is cutting into my social life man!! jeezz!
well i just wanted to get on and said hi to you guys! :]
IDK what to write about so I'll talk about the movie i saw today..
HARRY POTTER.. it was a lame ass movie!! UGHH!
3 hours of my life wasted! it had it's scary parts and shocking scenes..
but that's it! HORRIBLE ENDING by the wayy! ughhh!
I'm so mad! haha XD
BUT i had fun hanging out with JENNY, TRI, JUSTIN, JUN and ALEX. :]
they're some awesome people ya know? :D
[HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNYYYY!! ]

I haven't been in the greatest mood lately.
everything and everyone are getting on my nerves.
and i've realized that when someone says bye.. they really mean it.
but i guess it's okay! life goes on right? so no worries, I'll be happy :]
I might have lost someone good in my life, but i bet i can meet someone amazing. :]

and I've also found out that my mom knew that I've been sneaking out and sneaking
people in at night! no wonder she's been lecturing me every time i do something! haha
dang man! thankgoodness my mom doesn't know what grounding means! :D
but oh well! i'm excited for this weekend i'm gonna party until i can't party anymore! lol

well that's it for now!
i suck at blogging! xD
i love youu<3 :]

Fourth of July!

Well My 4th of July was pretty good at first, but ended in the lamest way possible!
In the morning, I went to this Art Festival because i enjoy all types of art.
it was pretty fun, i went with some friends and met some cool new people.
I like meeting new people, even though i have nothing to say at first and they're
all like.. why are you so quiet? haha.
it's kinda crazy how one can be so outgoing in the internet and so quiet in real life! lol
but anyways! i had fun while it lasted.
Then i got home and everything turned out for the worst! ughh!
My mom and my step-dad were fighting! they fight over the stupidest things! i swear!
well i have to admit that that was pretty funny, but then i had anything to do.
and my fourth of July plans were CANCELED! why you ask?
because it RAINED the WHOLE ENTIRE TIME!
the weather guy LIED to meeeee! D:
and i already had canceled all my plans..
the rain STOPS! i was like.. WTFFF!!
so that made me mad! more then i already was!
so i decided to go on my rooftop and watch some fireworks!
i almost killed myself, but at least i saw the fireworks! haha
well that's all that happened! pretty lame huh?
well bye bye! :]

PS. I wont be on until the 17th of July!.. or later. :]
I love you<3

My life in after high School.

So today i was talking with a friend about our lives after high school.
And it made me realize that i've been wasting my time.
I've been wasting my time worrying about stupid little things instead of
focusing on what is really important.
I thought that i had everything planned out,
but now that i think about it.. i don't know what to do anymore.
All my life i wanted to be successful in life, but now-a-days i think
that i'm failing rather then succeeding. I've let people influence the way i live.
I've put others before me and I've accepted way less then i deserve.
I've tried to please others and tried to meet their expectations rather than
putting myself first and thinking what's actually good for me.
and where that has gotten me? NOWHERE.
I've been disappointing my parents and that has cause them to expect less from me.
I want to make somehting out of myself. i want to have a stable job, and earn enough money
to lifve a descent life.
But so far I've done nothing to meet this expectations.

So I've decided to stop playing around and get serious.
This is my last year of high school and I'm not gonna let anyone ruin it.
I think I've had enough. And like my friend TJ says I NEED TO PUT MY HEAD IN THE GAME!
I want my parents to expect more then a bad grade from school and to actually
be proud about me for once.
I'm still not sure of what I'm going to study after high school but what i DO know is that..
I want to finish high school with a diploma on my hands.

Well it was telling you guys all this! lol
have a good dayyyyyy! :D
bye bye! <33

Newwww! :]

Well Hello People! :D
I'm Ana as you may already know. lol
I'm new so i don't know what I'm doing!
I messed up my URL! hahahaha xD
i forgot the A! FML!! lol
that's what i get for typing to fast! lmao.
... Well I guess i should start by talking about my day?
yeah? i think that's what this is for! is it? haha
OH MANNN! well here it goes..

Today, I went to Summer School, but it wasn't that bad.
I've never been to Summer School.
so this was a new experience! lol
i mean i have to go to a different school with people I've
never seen in my life! haha.
But so far it's cool, met new people and all that fun stuff. :]
hmm.. i was supposed to go downtown with my BFF Fanny,
but there was a THUNDERSTORM WARNING
so we decided not to go. I was really looking forward on going.
but THE WEATHER SUCKS!!!! lol
So i stayed home and watched tv... so boring.. haha.
Well i think that's it so far!
i'll post again laterrr? yeah? haha xD

PEACE OUT! <33